What I Know
You know the thing I hate most about depression? You know that you are out of control. You know your moods aren’t right. You know that your brain is trying to trick you into thinking you are unlovable, unworthy, un-whatever good thing you are. But it doesn’t matter what you know.
It doesn’t matter that you are awesome. It doesn’t matter that you make beautiful things or raise lovely children or have a good sense of humor or are kind to strangers. Because no matter what you know, your brain is telling you what to feel. And is telling you to feel awful.
But I also know you can medicate it. Exercise and healthy eat it. Vitamin D and sun lamp it. You can surround yourself with good people. And go to bed on time. And get up on time. And push yourself a little every day.
And it might not ever be perfect – but it will get better.
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4 Responses to “What I Know”
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Prayers friend. Things will get better…I pray soon:)
Oh how I wish you and I could get together over coffee, wine, or whatever and talk about this. I could relate SO well to this post. And I’m sorry that you know this feeling…. but you are right, it WILL get better. You’ll kick it’s butt!
I understand how you feel! I started dealing with depression after my fourth baby. My husband had been deployed for an entire year, so I’d dealt with the entire pregnancy, three kids, and the first three months of baby #4′s life almost entirely on my own. I did have my sister to help me out towards the end of the pregnancy. But when my husband got home, I’d had enough. My mind just decided that it couldn’t handle being strong any more. After going to my regular doctor and switching up medications twice, I went back to my midwife and had bloodwork done (which my regular doctor never even mentioned!) and found out that my vitamin d was at HALF of the lowest it should be! I’ve been amazed what the addition of vitamin d has done! It’s so much nicer to feel like you have a little more control over everything and feel like you’re not losing it over every little thing. Good luck with your struggle! It’s hard to admit you have a problem sometimes, but it’s SO worth it to get the help that you need!
hugs and prayers to you, friend. xo